Well, I will tell you, I’m a Southern lady, that grew up in the South, with parents that made it through the great depression.. And through that hardship, taught my brother and I to be frugal, thrifty, among so many things. Something I am thankful for to this day. I was a young teen heading down the wrong path around 1970 or so, a path of drugs, like so many teens in my area in those days.. Travling the South, staying here and there.. I guess I thought I was a FREE SPIRIT, only to find out many years later, I wasn’t. I was a spirit, that belonged to God, and he paid the price for me, that wasn’t free by any means of the word.. ..
One reason I speak so much about God, is that I am a born again believer, and God saved me, from myself.. He took away the desire for drugs. And I am eternally grateful to this very day.. For so many years I was surrounded by addicts, I see first hand what the strong holds of Satan can do to a persons life, through addictions such as drugs, as well as any addictions. Do not kid yourself, addictions of any kind are harmful, I believe it is a strong hold from the enemy himself, every last addictions..
Life went by fast, and I soon became a young Mother of two, divorced again, trying to raise my sons alone, and doing what I thought was right, and best by them. Turns out not all of it was for the best, but we stood strong, my boys and I.. Choosing addicts with each marriage, but truly not knowing that at the time, and becoming co dependent , years later.. I found myself going through the motions of an everyday dysfunction family life.. I recall one day, being at my wits end. I stopped my car on the side of the road, and yelled as loud as I could WHY, WHY GOD, just tell me please, or show me Lord, WHY.
Why I keep going around, and around in a circle.. Well, God heard me, loud and clear. But, it took about 15 more years for him to allow me to go in those same circles, until I finally GOT it.. Whew, what a BLESSING, to finally know, that you know, that you KNOW, what God want’s for you, for your life.. What gifts he has given to you, and where to use them . .Why, some of us are born to know that, and others have to struggle, even to the brink of death, to get there is beyond me.. But, God will reveal to you in HIS time, when he knows you are ready for your gifts, and will use them for his glory..
Why, I had to repeat my life’s hurtful lesions, I now feel was so that I could be more compassionate, a better steward, and make better choices… I knew God was trying to reach me, and teach me, that my choices, were not HIS choices for me.. But, I wanted to do it MY way. Oh the heartache, the hardship, and the places God allowed me to go, and the things he taught me through those years on that journey, are PRICELESS, and just between God and myself, well and mu Mother, there wan’t anything she didn’t know about me…
I wouldn’t take anything away from what I’ve been through, what God has shown me through my own self educed heartache. That is a huge part of why, I am happier with life, see so much beauty in the simply things, and why I wish to share with all of you here daily. God, himself has blessed me time and time again, from the darkness, and brought LIGHT, and healing to me. And from the ashes of a life that had been burnt, broken and parts of it had even been buried. God shows up, and it was by HIS grace, he brought healing, joy, and a peace that I otherwise would have never known in this lifetime. If you have been burnt, broken, hurt, and you feel all that is left are the ashes. Know that God can turn ashes into BEAUTY.. And pain into GLORY.. Sadness into JOY. I’m sure of what I write to you, I’ve been there, and made it back. The ashes of my life, are now beauty, from God.. I’m just getting started.. I dedicate this drop in the bucket of my life, to my Mother, who prayed for me, loved them through ever trial.. It was her unconditional love here on this earth that kept me pressing on many days… Tomorrow, Oct 26,2012 marks her 2 year passing.. She lives on through me, and in my heart everyday. God rest her sweet, humble, and Godly soul..