The phone rings. It’s Emily. “Mom, Drew wants to know why I cut off the ends of a banana before I peel them?”
“Emily, I don’t like eating the ends of a banana so I always cut them off for you and Brandon. So now you do the same thing.” “Ok Mom, thanks!” Our children inherit our likes, our dislikes, our quirks and our words. It’s funny how sometimes the things that you find your children doing without them questioning why. It’s just the way they were raised. Then they marry someone and they realize that not everyone does it. There is something else that was brought to my attention this week by a simple facebook post. “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”.
A quote by Peggy O’Mara. If a child is constantly spoken to with harsh words, those words creep deep into their innermost being. They hear them over and over. The words are branded on the part of them that struggles to take risks and succeed. They then try to protect themselves by thinking “why try, I will just fail. I will never be good enough. I don’t want to prove I can’t do it.” So they “sit out” in life. They become one who just sits on the bench, afraid to participate, afraid to take challenges. They never become all that they could have been.
Something inside them struggles to do more…be more…yet sadly, they never do. Then there are those who hear the praise and the applause from their parents which reaches into the part of them that pushes their “on your mark, get set, GO” button. AND off they go! Sure they stumble and fall and may get called OUT a few times but still they learn to brush off the scrapes and scuffs and disappointments. They let nothing or no one discourage them. Why? Because that small inner voice is louder than a crowd of nay sayers. The truth is that it’s not just parents but teachers, coaches and mentors that come alongside a child and give them encouragement. They succeed not on their own but by the verbal applause of others.
We watch the Olympics. We hold our breath. We see them land on a four inch beam. How? Because someone told them over and over that they could do it! Falling isn’t failing. Try again and again and again. Just keep getting back up there. One person may be on that podium being handed a gold, silver or bronze medal but they were refined by many a silversmith with wise words. So my question is “who’s hearing your words and what are they saying?”
Writen by: Janet Baker