The journey continues as we learn to “Leave it with God” I said in my earlier post that many of us give our problems to God ~ only to take them back and hold them like someone is trying to steal them.. Crazy huh, I am a person that needs to be in control, or thought that I did for so many years. I was the person that “fixed” everything. And, for everyone ~ my kids ~ my family~ my friends~ co workers you name it.. Debbie to the rescue.
I think they call it co- dependant, ugh, something I was or did for so many years. Last year I realized that I had to let it go ~ leave it with GOD, and not take it back. Little did I know that it would be a process. One that would cause some anxiety when I was so use to giving it to God and taking it back. How many blessings did I miss by taking it all on myself ~ when God had the prefect solution to each one.
A few years back I was praying to God for a situation that was close to my heart. As I cried out to him ~ God spoke to me in a audible voice ~ Debbie If you want me to help “MOVE” every time I get started you take it back and handle it YOUR way. So, you have to “MOVE” or expect it the way you have created it. I was like in awe, Wow Lord I said, I do that ~ I know I do, and I want to STOP. So, I began to pray for God to help me to let go ~ and give it to him and leave it there.
I am happy to report that it has been almost a year for me ~ and things are getting much better. God has kept his promise ~ and I in turn am learning to “Leave it with God” He really does have a better plan and blessings for us if we will just “MOVE” and let GOD.
I totally understand what you are saying, as I have been guilty of the same thing. It has taken me a long time to understand and accept what “Cast your burden on the Lord”…(Psalm 55:22) really means. We set out to do good things, with courage and the right motives, but we get out of touch with Him and we become overwhelmed and defeated. But if we will only roll back on God the burden He has placed on us, He will take away those feelings of immense responsibility and replace them with an awareness and understanding of Himself and His presence.
We carry burdens God never intended for us to carry, so we need to deliberately place one end on God’s shoulders. “The Government will be upon His shoulder”…(Isaiah 9:6). It is true that once you cast your burden on the Lord, you will see that you burden is lightened by the sense of companionship with Him and He will share your load. We all need a helping hand and there is none better than His.
Nina ~ my friend, you are so right girl. Loved your comment, wonderul words of wisdom, and scripture. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Love,
Debbie
Several years ago my husband and I were going through a huge trial with our grown daughter. We prayed, friends prayed, etc. We did everything we could to solve it with our own resources. It was affecting our physical health and also our spiritual health because we just could not see an answer and thought God was just not listening. Then shopping in a Christian book store we found a little statue of a man standing in front of a rock, trying to push it, but in vain could not move it. On the side was an angel. The quote was, “I (God) didn’t ask you to move it , I just told you to push it.” In other words, hang in there, obey Him, and He will take care of it. Needless to say we bought it. The trial we went through strengthened our family in a way that nothing else could have. And we took a huge jump spiritaully also in learning that God ALWAYS answers, maybe not in our time frame, but always in His. He always knows what is ahead and just exactly what we need. Today we are a very close, happy and blessed family! Years later, I passed the little statue on to a young couple that had been struggling to get pregnant. I asked them to pass it on when they no longer needed the reminder. She became pregnant!! And passed it on! God is GOOD, all the time!!
you know, debbie, sometimes i think it takes a long time to learn some of the lessons that God wants us to learn…like patience, for one, and not trying to control every aspect of not only our lives but those of our loved ones too…
over the years, i have tried to do everything “my way”…only to realize that “my way” wasn’t what God had planned.
a few years ago, my mother was being victimized by a young neighbor, who befriended her and kept plying her with all sorts of compliments..i.e. “oh rita, you’re the only one who understands me…you saved my life…i love you” but all the while he was manipulating her to give him money. since my mother lives 2000 miles away, it took awhile before i learned how he was taking gross advantage of her….not only did he exhaust her funds in the bank, but he also charged over $14,000 on her credit card, used her for credit…stole her ring and took it to a pawn shop, used her as collateral for his gambling debts, etc.
when i found out what was happening, i asked her why she was letting him do this….she kept assuring me he would pay her back…i knew better. he would not, and he did not…even at risk of her losing every bit of financial security she once had. when i confronted her with all the information that i discovered, she defended him….then she become terribly angry…she stopped talking to me….she would not answer the phone…he was cutting her off from her family and friends. i asked mr G to do “something”….i didn’t know what i was looking for him to do….but i wanted him to DO SOMETHING !
i was so stressed out with trying to help her….i contacted elder abuse in her area, i contacted the local police dept. i spoke to the atty general for her county. i spoke to her doctor and requested that they check mom out for dementia….i had a caregiver for my mother, but the man in question learned how to “get around” her and make sure that he wasn’t around mom until the caregiver left. ( i know i must be rambling here.)
to make a long story short, i had to petition the court for guardianship of my mother. i brought her here to AZ. she hated it..after a year, i took her back home with the condition of having the caregiver be in charge of her doctor visits, , meals, shopping, prescriptions, etc.
mom still had contact with the neighbor….she smuggled him in after the caregiver went home….
i was exhausted….stressed beyond imagination. the stress manifested itself in my health issue. i was so sick of the whole affair, i just wanted OUT. mom was NOT talking to me..she would not take my calls,,,,i threw up my arms (figuratively) and said…”WHATEVER”. i was angry that mr G would allow this to happen….
but God had His plan….you are so right when you said that you heard Him tell you….MOVE…i did too.
i had gotten a call that mom was in the hospital, again. (heart and diabetic issues)…one of the hospital docs called and said i needed to come back to michigan. mom needed constant supervision and i needed to arrange something more….i did NOT want to go back to michigan and suffer my mother’s wrath again.
i asked mr G what He expected of me….why should i have to go back ? i am tired of trying to fix things. i am tired of being the ONE to deal with it…i wanted out. but, He would not let me out…He had His plan….mom was in a nursing home….she didn’t know that i was coming back to take care of things…to make arrangements for her….i told my husband that i was going to bring her back here, again.
but that wan’t the plan, either.
the first day i went to the nursing home, my mother saw me and made an angry face…then after maybe 10 seconds, she relaxed …as if to say, “okay, you’re here…you know what to do”…those were good days…very good days…my mother had dementia…she would lose track of where she was….who she was….how old she was…what day it was…but she always knew who i was….i found that incredible.
i never brought my mother back here with me…..she died with me at her side in the ER, i thank God every single day that He did not let me OUT of taking care of mom. those ten days before she died, were among the best days of my entire life with her….i thank God that he allowed me to be with her when she died…maybe, i didn’t get to bring her home, to here…..but she went HOME with the angels, anyway….
thanks for listening debbie…..we will be ok…after all, we are never alone….xxxx
Joanne ~ I always love to hear from you, you didn’t ramble hon. I understood every word. And like you ~ I was too was so sick and tired of being sick and tired of taking care of everyone elses mess ups. My parents never did burden me a day, they really did as much for themselves as they could until their deaths. But, I can say that is not the case for some of my family.. Friends as well. Time is a great teacher, for so many of us Joanne, but you know that there are as many that pay NO mind to the lessions in life, as there are the ones that do. They just float along taking and taking until the one they are taking from sinally has had enough And says.. HECK no!! No more, I’m done. They still try until they realize you are not kidding, and you really are done with taking care of their mess ups, and issues they create.
So, for you I too am thankful that you had those last several days with your Mother, God does know what he is doing at all times, but we have to listen at all times too..
Love to you Joanne,
Debbie
This is a short story about what God does sometimes when he can’t get us to turn it over to Him, He kind of steps in and does it anyway, because He knows what we so desperately need!
My God Wink
Orion Drew lent me a book to read and the title was “God Wink”. The book was written by different people, all who have had God look at them and wink. Ever have that elderly person in your life smile & wink at you? You know that is their way of silently telling you that they love you.
When we were trying to adopt a baby the adoption agency called one evening to ask us if we would be interested in a two month old baby boy. I immediately said yes! I couldn’t wait to tell Dennis that we were one of the three parents that were being considered by the mother. I immediately hung up the phone and began telling Dennis is the possibility that lay ahead. His face went blank, and I could have sworn he lost all color. I cried and told him that if he really didn’t want this, it wasn’t going to work. He assured me again, that if it’s meant to be, it will be, regardless of his fears.
For a week the mother looked over all the information regarding Dennis & I and the other two parents that were trying to adopt. Every morning that week I was sick to my stomach, and felt like I had the flu. Then finally, the adoption agency called and said that the mother was going to interview one of the set of parents that evening, but that didn’t rule us out. The next morning the agency called again. This time they called to tell us that the mother did pick the parents that she had interviewed the evening before. I hung up the phone, and there was a little disappointment, but mainly there was a feeling of relief! I was relieved that the baby was going to have a good home, and somewhere deep inside me, was relieved she didn’t pick us to do the job. A job that I had waited all my life to receive! That evening, without even telling Dennis what it was all about we drove to the adoption agency and “I” dropped the adoption, with the knowledge that if we dropped it, and we decided we wanted to go forward again, we’d have to start the long process all over again.
Then when my grandchildren were born, of course I was ecstatic, but somewhere in my inner being, behind knowledge, sat the unaware longing that someday I would have my own child.
At the time I didn’t know it, but I was subconsciously jealous that the girls had gotten their babies, and I was still wondering why God had forsaken me. I tried to take the place of mother to these babies, not the place of grandma. We were all unaware of the big elephant in the room until God gave me a dream with insight.
I had a dream: In this dream we were having a family reunion. I recall thinking to myself, “Good thing we’re all coming together, so that everybody can visually see for themselves that the reason the girls & I aren’t getting along is because of the girls, and how they treat me.”
Then I heard God’s voice and he said to me, “Until you grieve for the child you never had you won’t move forward.” “This friction with you & the girls is your doing, and it won’t improve until you grieve.”
God then place the baby boy in my arms that I just gave birth to, and told me his name was Caleb. (I would have never picked the name, Caleb, but I guess God has his reasons.) I was so happy! I finally had the little boy that my heart had desired for so long! Then suddenly Caleb died in my arms. I cried out loud from the bottom of my heart! All that was in me came to the surface as it felt like my insides were being pulled out! Out of my mouth poured a glob of non ending filth, pain, regret, and just plain ugliness! My heart was being squeezed to death! “God how could you do this!” I screamed!
Then God took Caleb and held him in his arms while he lined up all the important children that are in my life. He then reached inside Caleb, around his heart area, and pulled out a star of light. He then placed the star of light on the top of each of the children’s head. The light slowly sank in to their bodies. God then said, “Although you’ve had to let Caleb go, as you live your life the children that you are close to all have a part of Caleb in them.
I awoke the next morning with the dream heavy on my mind. I didn’t share my dream with anyone that day. That very morning I took Trent, my nephew, to the unemployment office with me and pointed for him to give a particular lady some paper work. The lady smiled at me in acknowledgement and took the paper work from Trent. She then asked Trent if his name was Caleb. I couldn’t believe it! For confirmation I asked Trent what the lady said to him. He smiled and said, “She wanted to know if my name was Caleb.”
Wow! God was right; since I have grieved for my unborn child my relationship with my step-daughters has greatly improved. I have also been able to loosen the reigns and be what God had intended on me being, a grandmother, not a mother. What a joy it’s been so far! God has given me the best of both worlds. I don’t have to worry about intensity of raising the children, but I get the unconditional love that they offer! God truly does know what we can and can’t’ handle, even if we think we know! It’s amazing when you get a wink from God!
Kender L. Crow
Kendra, that is a mighty powerful story hon. Thank you for sharing. I’ve not read that book, but it sounds like a good one.
I’m thankful Kendra ~ that you have gotten your wink from God, and know that you know he has answered you.
God bless you,
Debbie
Thank you Debbie. You hit on exactly what I’ve been trying to do for the last 2 months. I had gotten so far away from God and what I knew He could and would do that I had to ‘handle’ everything. 3 years ago I filed bankruptcy, 2 years ago I lost my home. And, now, I’m living with my 92 year old Mother in a retirement community working part time and we are barely making ends meet. I have tried so hard for 2 years to get a full time job to no avail. I put my application in for a great job – one that I am very qualified to do – and the waiting is so hard. I told God that I would obey His decision because He knew what was best for me but let’s face it, we are human. I know He is in control and I KNOW things will work out so I’m leaning on that. I have a dream to open my own Shabby Chic store eventually and I asked God that if this is not what He wanted to change the desires of my heart. My enthusiasm and commitment have only gotten stronger. I know it seems like an impossible thing to dream after what I’ve been through and where I am but I will cling to the words, “With God all things are possible”.
I grew up in a Christian home and have a firm foundation. I thank my parents for that. So, whatever comes my way – and there have too many things to name lately! – I know I can handle it with God help. The best thing that I’ve done is start reading “Jesus Calling”. It is a great daily dovotional that always seems to hit the nail on the head. I highly recommend it!
God bless you Debbie! Keep up the great work – it’s appreciated.
Stacey
Stacey ~ your story touched my heart. You know,I know this might not make you feel any better, but I’m reminded Acts chapter 29, where it tells us God gives us our needs, as well as our desires. You are not alone in this awful economy, so many have lost their homes, credit, cars. But, thank God you had a place to go. And please hold on God has a plan for you. Remember Acts 29 ok.. He mets your needs, that is truly all any of us can ask for. But God allows us to ask more, and we can go to him and ask for our hearts desires.
I know you said you and your grandmother were barley making it. I’m going to pray and I encourage everyone reading this to do so. That neither of you ever do without onething you need. And I ask that God give you two your hearts desires, according to his perfect will.
Look up Stacey, and be thankful hon for what you have. A family that taught you to stand on solid ground when times likes this came.. Not sinking sand, that is a blessing girl.. So many have NO idea and they SINK when harship strikes. When we are truly thankful for what we have and where we are ~ it is then when God blesses us in ways we’d never thought possible.
God bless you in all that you do,
Debbie
I have been reading your stories and are so inspired. You sometimes think that you are the only one going through hard times and I have recently asked myself a million and one times is God not listening to me. Does he not see what the struggle I am going through ? I have asked him for favour in my circumstances but as you so rightly say Debbie – i take it all back again and dont entirely leave it with him.
Your daily words of inspiration and encouragement are truly helping me when i am walking what seem like these never ending “dark days”.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and encouraging others. xx
Mirjam hon ~ remember God see’s you and he knows ALL. I know you truly do know that. Sometimes Mirjam, we must go through our seasons (darkness, hardships,) for us to really understand what God is trying to get us to see. Perhaps it is to be happy with simple things, with less, to see others that have it much harder, and know what we do have. Or to be an inspiration to others that are going through the samethings. Remember if we had no test in our lives (hardship etc) we’d have no testimony now would we
When I was younger I wanted it ALL ~ nothing wrong with dreaming, I’ve said it over and over ~ if, you are going to dream, do it big,.But expect and accept God’s will along with your drive to make those dreams come forth. I’m going to de honest with you, not all of my dreams have come true, but, with that I must say, that I am thankkful to God in Heaven that they didn’t. God knew that I wouldn’t have handled it right, it might have ruined me, and taken me further away from him. And with HIM is really where we need and want to be here on this earth. And in Him. fo it is in Him that we find all we really need to fe fufilled in this life.
You hang in there, and remember there are times still that I find it hard, to take it to God and leave it there. But, God understands, and he works with me on this daily. God bless you Mirjam ~ may you walk with him daily,
Debbie
Debbie, thank you so much. Your blog is an encouragement to me. I have, for years, struggled with just this – I hand my problems to God (with a slight grip), then promptly take them back. I have learned to let go a bit more each time. I am not a worrier – or I try not to be. I have lived long enough to know that God does have everything under control and if I let Him things work out. If things look like they are “going to pot” it is because I have tried to take over. Thank you for sharing and for the much needed reminder.
God bless you.
Julie
Julie ~ you are so welcome. I think each of us at some point in our lives have strugled with this very thing.Thank you for sharing with me Julie..
Be Blessed,
Debbie
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Thank you very much
Debbie